Here’s a “Dear Abby” type of letter from the Toronto Star last week. It’s just astounding how much some wives hate their husband’s cars.
My husband is obsessed with cars. He talks about cars all the time, watches car stuff on TV and the internet and even goes on trips to see special cars at special events. Usually the locations are fun, so the rest of the family can enjoy the vacation time.
But lately his obsession seems to be getting worse. His secretary has called me twice this month asking if I know where my husband is as he’s not answering her calls and is missing meetings. I think he’s at work, so I get worried. And then I find him at a car dealer, or a private home of another car fanatic. My husband recently inherited some money from an aunt who passed away, enough for him to purchase a car or two. But we could also use that money for more family-oriented benefits, such as a renovation or vacation.
Cars are taking over my husband’s life and getting in the way of our relationship, not to mention our family life. What do I do?
Dear Car Widow,
This is definitely the first time I have ever received a question like this. Having a hobby or strong interest is healthy — it gives you a focus in life outside of your relationships, your family, your work.
But if and when those interests turn into an obsession, the positive has now turned negative. An obsession, by definition, is something that preoccupies you and intrudes on your daily thoughts. In other words, it puts you in a negative state. Your husband may not realize he has the crossed the line and that his interest is now negatively affecting you. You need to talk to your husband. He may see your point of view and be able to dial it back.
Or not. If the latter, he’ll need to speak to someone professionally.
This is kind of sad. The guy sounds like a perfectly normal, well-adjusted gearhead. So he follows car shows on TV and the internet. Is this the worst thing he could be doing?
And the guy has a secretary (not the company receptionist… his own secretary) so he seems to have a good job. Must provide quite a comfortable life for his family.
Why should the inheritance go towards a kitchen reno?