You would never ask your mechanic for marital advice. So don’t waste time writing to ‘Dear Abby‘ for driving advice. This response to a question about dealing with a loud, obnoxious ‘backseat driver’ is just drivel.
Here’s the letter:
Dear Abby:
I have a serious problem with my slightly younger sister. She’s a loud and aggressive back-seat driver. When she rides in my car, she feels compelled to loudly tell me what lane to drive in and to freak out over how close I am to the car in front and a variety of other issues she imagines.
I am a competent and safe driver, but her loud exclamations are not only annoying, they distract me at times, which I’m afraid could lead to an accident. “Get in the left lane!” she shouts, but she doesn’t see the cars behind us that I see in my mirror. She knows how much this bothers me but seems not to care. I have lost my temper at her for doing it. Any advice on how to get her to refrain from these outbursts while I’m driving?
— Angry Big Brother
Dear Big Brother:
Your sister may not be able to control herself, which is why she does this. Because you find the back-seat driving not only annoying but potentially dangerous, stop letting her ride with you and your problem will be solved.
Of all the ways to deal with a back-seat driver ‘Dear Abby‘ gives the dumbest advice a columnist could ever give! Stay in your lane ‘Dear Abby’ because in this case it would have been better to ask a mechanic (who might suggest a rumble seat, pictured below).
Refusing a family member a ride in your car? Preposterous! .
Most of us have either been the driver or the passenger in the above scenario. So, how can we make it through a car ride without stress and conflict.
- Just because you think you’re a good driver doesn’t make it true.
- If passengers freak out about how close you are to the car in front, you’re too close, .
- Adopt a calm, careful driving style when passengers are with you.
- They’re already anxious because of the lack of control.
- Tell passenger not to shout or interfere while you drive; its simply dangerous.
- Once the car ride is over ask your passenger if your driving made them anxious.
- Try to be a better driver next time, or just hand them the keys and hop in the back seat. .
Hey ‘Dear Abby‘ next time stay in your lane. Do your readers and the motoring public a favour and actually give advice that helps, and provides insight. Nobody is kicking a family member out of the car!
Solid advice right here. You could give Dear Abby a few lessons. Her solution may solve one problem but then you are in relationship with someone who resents the fact that you won’t let them ride in your car.
I have a family member who USED to be a great driver. Had the skill of a stunt-driver. Could do donuts in the snow with no hands on the wheel.
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But now that he’s older, things are different. His reaction time is slower, vision is not so good. He follows other cars so closely that it freaks me out.
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We’ve spoken about it and he’s understands that his driving style stresses me out. So, he tries to take it easy with passengers in the car. And I try not to stomp the imaginary brake pedal when I sit in the passenger’s seat. We’re trying.
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He still drives with one hand on his coffee cup, and the other holding a cigarette. But we’re moving in the right direction. It takes communication. You can’t just kick people out of your car!
There are lots of young people on Reddit who believe “old” people (over 55 to them LOL) should have to take additional driving tests.
I know of someone (late 70’s) who has had his driving privileges removed owing to illness. He misses it badly. Would love to drive again, but his reflexes simply are not there.
Aging is a tough gig. It seems both you and your older driver are trying to compromise and that’s a great thing.
I have never been on Reddit (my 14 year old daughter explained subReddits, but I dont get it) so I will have to take your word on it that theres some seriously mosguided people on there.
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Jeepers creepers, Mario Andretti raced the Indy 500 when he was 54 years old. Additional driving tests? Ha!
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I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have a license revoked. The 70+ individual you mentioned might have been dtiving for decades. Their family / spouse probably relies on them for mobility.
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In my ptovinve, drivers over 80 get ‘re-tested’ and once the focus, reflexes and physical ability starts to fade… its hard to convince the DMV to let one keep on trucking. But it must be heartbreaking and frustrating at the loss of freedom.
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My driver could.probably pass a test, if he just turned off the radio, put out the cigarette, threw out the coffee, turned off the magic rectangle, stopped chatting and just drove. But thats a hard sell.with the old-timer.
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He evn yelled at me last week that hes been driving for longer than Ive been alive. But that doesn’t mean he’s the same driver he was in 1974!
My friend is now completely reliant on his wife for transpo and he doesn’t like the way she drives. 🚙🙈
Oh no!
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And I think of all the times I give my wife a hard time about her driving. Imagine she was my chauffer and Im Miss Daisy? That would be hard to take.