Turns out that flames shooting out your tailpipe counts as breaking the law. Who knew?
I was twenty-something, sold my dependable car and bought a 1979 Mini Cooper. Jet-black paint, walnut dashboard, mag wheels and a GB decal on the back. It was a $5,000 car that needed $10,000 in work but I just kept driving it. The small-fry was ideal for my downtown Toronto deliveries; never a parking spot too small. Yet I still ended up with plenty of parking violations. Since I was young and dumb, I gathered up all the tickets, clamped them together, and hung them from my rearview mirror. They splayed out like a lady’s yellow sundress, and danced around as I drove.
When it rained, the Lucas electrical system would fail. I became an expert on Section 142 of the Ontario Highway Traffic Act governing hand signals. Who knew when the brake lights or turn signals would work.
I was speeding around Queens Park Circle on the way to a delivery when a police cruiser appeared in my rear view. The Mini was a cool car, so I just prayed he wanted a closer look. Nope. When I changed lanes, he changed lanes. He was definitely running my plates! Half my upper body was out the driver’s side window to make my hand signals exceedingly clear. I arrived at my next delivery, and the cop lit up the cherries as I pulled into the parking lot. I was furious.
I didn’t even wait for him to reach my window before I started barking. “This is harassment! My hand signals were perfect!” He calmly waited for me to finish then explained that every time I shifted gears, orange flames would shoot out my tailpipe three to four feet. Between the non-functioning lights, and the flames, the car broke so many laws that I was about to get ticketed into oblivion.
When the cop handed me the tickets, I detached the batch of parking tickets from my rear view mirror and added one more to the the collection. When he left, I put my sunglasses on and peeled out like one of the cool kid. Such great memories were made in that car!
~ by Chris #16 Demaras ~
Omg that IS such a cool car!!
Yeah, it was fun. And it was so rare in Toronto you just felt like a movie star.
A rebel. You were a naughty boy counterpart to me driving cops crazy on my motorcycles in my teens.
I was just a good suburban boy trying to earn a living.
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Those cops turned me jnto a bad guy; a menace on the road.
Cops have a way of doing that.
Yes. Yes they do. Imagine how supportive of the police a 22 y.o. is after getting a ticket that gobbles up a week’s wages.
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Dude should have popped the hood and helped me adjust the carb.
Sounds to me like this law breaking was intentional…
Officer, I am as shocked as you are that these flames are shooting out the tailpipes. I did wonder why my license plate melted, though…
It’s part of the emissions controls, officer. It burns off the dangerous byproducts, producing a mixture of water and environmentalists’ tears in their place!
Yes… It’s a UK catalytic converter that works a little different on US gas.
Such a cool car, and an entertaining story.
So, the problem was the catalytic converter?
Did you fix it or just remove it?
Yes, the infamous Lucas electric system is a nightmare
Rubens, I got such joy driving that car. As a young guy, I loved the attention! When I’d get stuck in the snow or kill the battery, people would run to help me (even old dudes) just to talk about when they had a Mini years ago.
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I had a great English mechanic, Clive. I brought the car to him, and he showed me how all the pollution control devices were cosmetic only (hollowed out), and he hust tuned the carb a little and told me to enjoy the flames.
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I knew as soon as I wrote “Lucas” gearheads would feel my pain.
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Such a great car.