At Demaras Racing we try to review quality movies in our Fast Film Fridays section. As long as the cars are cool, the movie can be bad, and we just don’t care! Well Corvette Summer kind of breaks the mold because it’s a crappy movie with probably the ugliest movie car ever.

The plot centres around car-crazy Kenny; a high school senior who’s shop class took a ’73 Corvette from the wrecking yard to the pinnacle of customization. A once piece flip front-end, quad headlights, sidepipe exhaust, fender flares and a massive Chevy boy-tie tail light complete with oversize Stingray script.

The class takes the Corvette out cruising on Van Nuys Blvd, but it gets stolen on it’s maiden voyage. Kenny is crushed, and spends days moping. Hearing a rumour that the one-of-a-kind car has been seen in Las Vegas, the teenager begins his quest to get the car back.

While hitchhiking through the desert, the car gods smile on Kenny. A group of lowriders cruises up and offer the teenager a lift. A ’72 Buick Riviera on hydraulics leads the pack, and the cool-cat Chicano welcomes Kenny. Like the true goof that he is, Kenny quickly becomes frustrated with the low-and-slow cars, claiming he could walk to Vegas faster, and exits the ride.

A short while later, the teenage boy is picked up by an aspiring hooker, heading to Vegas in her custom Chevy Van, Vanessa.Massive fender flares, custom candy-apple red over white paint, and a red velvet interior complete with curtains adorn her shaggin’ wagon. The two become fast friends.

Arriving in Las Vegas, Kenny checks every hotel and casino on The Strip to find his car. It’s not going to be as easy as he thinks!

A tip leads the protagonist to the Flamingo Hotel where a valet tells him that a red sports car, with flames and side pipes is on display in the lobby. It could only be Kenny’s one and only Corvette! Even the hookers at the hotel feel sorry for this loser when he realizes that it isn’t his car, his Corvette.

It’s only a Datsun.

Let’s skip ahead a little bit. Kenny stumbles across “his” car while working at the local car wash. It’s been disguised, but the subterfuge doesn’t fool Skywalker, who hatches a plan to rescue the car from the chop-shop thieves. Kenny will steal his Corvette back from the car thieves!

A climactic battle between Skywalker in his Corvette and the Darth Vader-esque bad guy driving a black-on-black Pontiac Trans-Am. The long desolate road cutting through the Nevada desert serves as a replacement for the famous Star Wars ‘trench run’ on the Death Star.

Gosh, this movie is awful! Even Luke Skywalker, cool cars, sexy girls and a plot lifted from The Odyssey still can’t save this piece of ‘carsploitation‘ cinema. Star Wars was the big hit movie of 1977, and star Mark Hamill was hot property. This film, showcasing him with a not too subtle nods to the George Lucas epic, was a guaranteed way to turn a $1.7 million budget into $36 million in box office receipts.

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