PROFESSOR: Men + Loud Exhaust = Sadists

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Just when you start to think that society is becoming more tolerant, you read about people like Julie in the backwoods town of London, Ontario, Canada.

You see, Julie was walking her dog near the University campus, and was startled by a sound. She says that dear little Fido was startled too, and even the squirrels ran away; the poor little fur-babies! Was it that ‘rap music’ bumping out a car stereo that scared Julie? No, it was just the exhaust note of a passing car.

Problem is that Julie is a professor at the University of Western Ontario, so she created a study called “A Desire For Loud Car with a Modified Muffler is Predicted by Being a Man and Higher Scores on Psychopathy and Sadism”. Gosh, with a title like that, this pseudo-scientific silliness couldn’t already have had a forgone conclusion it was trying to prove?

The professor surveyed 529 business students at UWO and asked whether the sound of a rumbling exhaust was cool, and whether they would ever make their cars louder with a modified exhaust. No mention of whether these students even owned cars! She then gave participants a ‘personality measure’ called a Short Dark Tetrad that assesses malicious personality traits such as narcissism.

Shocking as this might seem. the professor believes that those with loud cars have a callous disregard for other people’s feelings. She also seems to believe that they get a kick out of watching people get startled. A recent CBC article about Julie’s study claims that there’s a clandestine car scene in Canada made up of young gearheads who gather at unsanctioned car rallies for the purpose disturbing others with their gunshot-pop tailpipes. And then there’s the guerrilla drag racers who are responsible for the surly rumble of a gas-guzzling engines and the the sound of tires screaming on city streets.

And this is too disturbing to people like Julie who claim that these sounds are jarring people awake when they leave their bedroom windows open at night.

Gosh such small-minded, small-town people living in London.

Julie, there will be plenty of time for peace and quiet when you are in the casket. Let people live. Let the kids have their fun. A bunch of students in a Canadian Tire parking lot isn’t a problem that any city desperately needs to fix, and it’s pathetic to have wasted any time studying this.

Here’s a news flash, professor:

Young people like to have fun, show off and attract attention driving a sick ride. Just because you don’t have an appreciation of the artform known as car customizing doesn’t make it wrong. The beauty of a modified exhaust is in the ears of the beholder. The smooth rumble of a finely tuned engine is music to a gearhead’s ears.

It’s a sad day when a university professor needs to get a lecture from a lowly gearhead about freedom and personal expression.

~ Chris #16 Demaras~

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