With tomorrow being Easter, the first thought that comes to mind is what would Jesus drive? As a first-century carpenter, his mode of transportation was at best a donkey. But if Jesus were alive today, how would he get around in the modern world?
The obvious punchlines are Jesus would drive a Kia Soul, Hyundai Genesis or Dodge Spirit. He would definitely not ironically drive a Dodge Demon or a Lamborghini Diablo. Some might say that Jesus would rely on public transportation, since subways are an environmentally sound solution, showing his love for all God’s creations including nature. But just consider the song ‘Jesus, Take the Wheel‘ and those popular ‘Jesus is My Co-Pilot‘ bumper stickers. It’s safe to assume that Jesus would be a driver. He’s not waiting at the bus stop with a MetroPass in his pocket. He’s got places to go, and sermons to deliver!
Maybe it’s easier to figure out what Jesus would not drive. Definitely not a BMW or Mercedes. And surely not one of those big, black stupid ‘crossovers’ and SUVs everyone seems to own today; Jesus would not have a flashy, expensive and inefficient vehicle in his driveway. And considering the working condition in those African cobalt mines needed to make Tesla batteries, forget about an EV.
The modest opposite of a chrome-plated, gas-guzzling American SUV is an old hippie van; a vintage VW bus. I can picture Jesus at the wheel of a VW that he bought used years ago, yet it miraculously keeps on running. Mechanically simple and spacious, the VW could carry 12 disciples with ease. But the flower-power generation really co-opted imagery of a bearded, long-hair in a van.
To drive around Israel, Palestine and the modern Middle East, Jesus would drive a Toyota pickup. Not some GR Sport model either. Jesus would drive a base-model pickup with vinyl seats, steel wheels, and durable 2.0L four-cylinder engine. The automotive equivalent of the donkey. The modest Toyota pickup truck would help get Jesus through those rough desert roads, or to carry lumber and carpentry tools. There’s nothing boastful about a Toyota, it never draws envious stares.
The Toyota pickup is the vehicle of choice for African revolutionary regimes and even Middle East terrorist groups. But, like a donkey, a Toyota pickup is neither good nor evil. Jesus could use a Toyota to and serve the needs of the poor and lost, while spreading the word of God. It might not be stylish, but it would get the job done 100% of the time.
Cute. ☺️
My gavourite are those lowriders with religious murals airbrushed on them. Those Chicago’s LOVE Jesus!
This is very good
Glad you like it. Thought spme might co sider it blasphemous.
Only if he was driving a EV lol
The Volkswagen Camper comes to mind. He would want to be able to pick up wandering souls, make them feel comfortable without dress code, able to pull over and pray and sleep when needed.
The first car that came to my mind was a Santa Fe.
I discussed your answer with my family, Rubens, while we were driving to my father’s place for Easter dinner. One of the kids pointed out that Sante Fe means ‘Saint Faith’ in Portuguese. Is that why you mentioned that vehicle?
.
If yes…that’s pretty smart. All four of us worked on the Kia SOUL and Hyundai GENESIS.
Thanks, Chris. The words Santa Fe have the same meaning in both Portuguese and Spanish. I believe Hyundai meant some homage to the city of Santa Fe, USA, but it is also appealing to religious people.
There is one more Hyundai car that might fit the bill, the Santa Cruz.
Those Hyundai guys are very smart. Appeal to religious people.
.
I was proud that my 15 year old daughter figured out your “Santa Fe’ comment where I was obviously too dumb to do so.
But I loved the VW Bus analogy.
My wife says that all German cars are immediately disqualified from Jesus’ shopping list.